Proud, Loud, and Unapologetically Me: What Being a Lesbian Has Taught Me About Thriving in Midlife

Let’s just start here: I didn’t plan to write a Pride blog. But I woke up this morning, coffee in hand, scrolling through rainbows on Instagram, and thought: yeah. This one’s for us.

Because being a lesbian in midlife isn’t just about visibility. It’s about vitality. It’s about choosing to live out loud — not in spite of who you are, but because of it.

And let’s be real: I’m not new to the “you’re too much” game. Too loud. Too proud. Too intense. Too opinionated. And now? Too damn old to care what anyone thinks.

Being Queer Made Me Strong

Coming out isn’t a one-time thing. It’s a thousand little decisions: who to tell, how to tell them, how to protect your peace when people disappoint you. It taught me how to stand up straight, speak from my gut, and hold my ground.

So when midlife rolled in with all its hormonal chaos, I wasn’t blindsided. I’d done hard things before. I’d built a life outside the box. I knew how to rebuild.

The World Thinks It Knows What a Midlife Woman Looks Like

She’s quiet. She’s tired. She’s wallpaper. Maybe she’s having a "graceful menopause," whatever that means.

Nope. Not here.

I’m sweaty, wild, lifting weights, yelling about protein and progesterone, deeply in love with my wife, and showing up online to help women stop shrinking — in their bodies, their energy, their lives.

Being queer gave me a permanent permission slip to ignore society’s rulebook. Midlife gave me the fire to write a new one.

Loving My Wife Isn’t Radical — But Living Loudly Is

I’ve been with my wife for 20+ years. We’ve built a home, a life, a partnership rooted in laughter, mutual respect, and a shared obsession with our doodles. Nothing about it feels radical — but I know that, to some, it still is.

So yeah, I talk about it. I post about it. I show up as myself, full volume, because if even one person sees that and feels less alone? Worth it.

What Pride Means in Midlife

Pride in your 20s is glitter, parades, and coming out stories. Pride in your 40s and beyond? It’s staying out. It’s being proud on a random Tuesday, at the grocery store, while reminding a teenager that love isn’t limited by gender. It’s holding your partner’s hand when someone stares too long — and squeezing tighter.

Pride is choosing joy over shame, strength over silence, authenticity over approval.

Here’s What I Know:

• You don’t need permission to take up space

• You don’t owe anyone an explanation for who you love or how you live

• You are allowed to change, evolve, grow louder, weirder, bolder

• You are not too much. You are just right

Being a lesbian isn’t something I got over. It’s something I grew into. And now, I get to use that clarity, that confidence, and that community to help other women — queer or not — do the same.

Midlife is not a quiet place.

It’s a riot. It’s a rebellion. It’s a second act where you get to cast yourself as the main character — unfiltered, unshrinking, and unstoppable.

So this Pride? I’m raising a glass to all of us. The loud ones. The soft ones. The still figuring-it-out ones.

We’re here. We’re not going anywhere. And we’re doing this on our own damn terms.

Happy Pride Ya'll.