Permission to Be Loud: How to Stop Shrinking and Start Taking Up Space in Your 40s and 50s

Permission to Be Loud: Why Midlife Is the Time to Stop Shrinking and Start Showing Up Fully

Let me say the quiet part out loud: I am EXTRA. Always have been. Always will be. And I’m done apologizing for it.

Somewhere between “you’re too much” and “tone it down,” a lot of us started shrinking. Not just our voices — but our ambitions, our outfits, our dreams, our opinions, our laughter.

We folded in on ourselves. Smiled politely. Learned how to read a room and shrink to fit it.

But here’s the thing: I don’t want to read the room anymore. I want to take up space in it.

This isn’t about shouting for attention. This is about reclaiming your full damn presence.

Your voice, your body, your energy. All of it. Because somewhere along the way, women in midlife got the message that being big, bold, or loud was unbecoming. And to that I say: bullshit.

How We Got So Quiet

Let’s be real. Most of us didn’t choose quiet. We were trained into it.

We learned early that girls should be nice. That women should be agreeable. That confidence makes you arrogant. That ambition makes you selfish. That being assertive makes you a b*tch. Especially if you are in power position in your job.

So we started dimming. And for a while, it felt easier. Like survival. But then we hit midlife, and suddenly, all that shrinking starts to feel suffocating.

You wake up one day and realize you’ve been whispering your way through the last decade of your life. You’ve been minimizing your needs. Hiding your power. Playing small to make others comfortable. And it’s exhausting.

Midlife Is Your Loud Era

Let me tell you something real: this isn’t the time to get smaller. It’s the time to get louder. Louder in the ways that matter — your truth, your joy, your boundaries, your weirdness, your fire.

You’ve earned your voice. You’ve lived, lost, failed, risen. That experience? That grit? That wisdom? It’s worth more than silence.

You don’t have to wait for permission. You are the permission.

So wear the bold outfit. Speak up in the meeting. Say no. Say yes. Start the damn business. Write the book. Start a god damn menopause blog. Leave the room that no longer fits. Make the noise.

What Taking Up Space Actually Looks Like

This isn’t just some inspirational Pinterest quote moment. This is a PRACTICE. A way of living. A decision, every day, to stop making yourself small.

Here’s what that looks like:

1. Taking Up Physical Space

• Wear the red lipstick.

• Rock the sleeveless dress.

• Stop sucking in your stomach.

• Take the photo. Post the photo.

2. Taking Up Emotional Space

• Stop cushioning your “no.”

• Say how you really feel.

• Ask for what you need — without apology.

3. Taking Up Mental Space

• Share your ideas.

• Set your boundaries.

• Let people be uncomfortable with your confidence.

4. Taking Up Creative Space

• Create without asking if it’s “good enough.”

• Share your work.

• Start before you’re ready.

The Fear Is Real — Do It Anyway

Yes, people will notice. They may criticize. You’ll feel exposed. You’ll second-guess yourself.

But here’s the hard truth: people will judge you no matter what. You might as well live out loud while they do.

If you’ve ever felt too sensitive, too loud, too big, too intense, too ambitious — congratulations. You are exactly the kind of woman this world needs more of.

You don’t need to shrink to fit a life that was never designed for your fullness.

You need to expand.

Your Loud Life Starts Now

This isn’t about being obnoxious. This is about being unapologetic.

This is your life. Not a dress rehearsal. Not a preview. And not a time to hide in the wings.

Get on stage. Take the mic. Say the thing.

Be extra. Be loud. Be YOU.

Because the truth is — no one else gets to decide how big your life gets to be. You do.

And I don’t know about you, but I’m choosing volume. Full blast.